2008

1998

I paid a visit to my homies over at In4mation today.
Your boy Marvo was in the building giving out chest rubs so I was like “LET’S GO…”
Thanks, guys.

One of these dudes is famous for choking dudes out, the other one is famous for choking chicks with an Arizona Iced Tea can.

My little homie Brian and a small crew of bros had the chance to hang out this past weekend with BJ Penn and the guy that owns RVCA clothing, and B-Dubbs just couldn’t resist a photo op of him on the receiving end of one small kine neck crank courtesy of the champ.

Yeah, my recent trip to Japan was definitely on some non-stop skate mission type of shit, but there was all types of other craze happening simultaneously in every direction at all hours of the day and night. There’s a full article about it over at hirollingmedia.com, and there are some serious blog leftovers from the trip on the hirolling blogspot. In fact, there are so many goddamned photos floating around that I took in Japan, how about we just go over a bunch of them right here, right now? Do the damn thing.

Stoopsology.

Clown gear was hella cheap!

I was so stoked on the Sesame Street all over print hoody, I bought every one they had in stock. Oh wait, no I didn’t, I fucking took out a lighter and set them all on fire. I wish.

Hook up your whole kit for peanuts! Miso peanuts in your mouth if you rock shit like this.

It must be rad to not give a fuck like these two.

The illest spot to cop your clown suits and big red shoes.

There’s really no escape, just go with it.

Kiss my size 17 Ronald McDonald red clown shoes.

I would have paid top yen to see this shit live.

Skatepark rules. You can’t read this shit but the illustrations are hot fire.

That’s what you get for riding a bike with no brakes, ya trendy motherfucker. Maybe your messenger bag will break your fall though.

Cool little skatepark rat.

Another one.

Getting into some hi-jinx.

COBRA BIT MY EYE!

All types of herbs.

Get your E-bombs here.

Macho men puff on these.

Hip hop hooligans suck these down like Coca-Cola.

Locals get mad brunted with these.

The be-all, and end-all smokes that you’ll ever need.

Lip my stocking.

Maybe inappropriate, but they don’t know any better over there.

Hey Japan: please keep sending over cute, tanned, bodyboarder chicks with nice asses. Thanks!

Nihon surf spot shredding guide.

This might just be the coolest dude that I ran across the entire time I was there.

I don’t even know how to begin breaking down how fucking ill this guy’s whole steelo is.

COBRA BIT MY EYE AGAIN! I PLAY WRONG TUNE!

I got something for these chicks, it’s not super limited and it definitely ain’t exclusive.

Another live event that I would have killed to people-watch at, regardless of admission price.

THE MOST BALLER SHIT EVER!!!!

Honestly, dudes. Stop it already.

I tawt I taw a fucking retard!

Throw it down, black man! Throw it dowwwwwn!

It’s a sad world after all, it’s a sad, sad, world.

People really rock shit like this.

And not one of them have even a single mirror in their (parent’s) homes.

I skated a super sick pool in this t-shirt, and then I committed hairi-kiri.

These Supreme shirts cost more than my plane ticket over.

Supreme already knows exactly how I feel about them.

These fucking stupid things were 350 dollars each. Total bargain for retards. I would have loved to have ripped one down off of the wall, put griptape on it, slapped on some trucks and wheels, taken it outside the shop, put it down on the sidewalk and then focused it with one mighty Godzilla-like stomp in front of all of the hundreds of non-skateboarding idiots lined up outside for even the mere chance of buying one.

I’d stand in line for this shit, though.

Snacks and Brewsky’s!

Trendy smoke shit.

I got something for you girls to smoke right here.

They were balling in Osaka.

Gotta throw a few skate shots in.

Hiding in the jungle.

Oh, I gets mine. Believe that.

Faster than a speeding bullet.

Cultural drive-by, Kyoto.

Brenda’s been killing the modeling game over there since even before the first time I went to Japan in 1995. Still getting covers! Hawaiians always represent.

They copy all of the good shit over there.

Bonsai real big at the airport.

Sayonara, suckers!

I honestly can’t tell you if this dude is serious or not, but this shit is pretty amazing and he is either a genius or a fucking retard to the millionth degree.

Thanks to The Tight Sag for bringing this insane piece of work to light.

Praise Jesus, the Ghostface doll is finally out!

This thing has been talked about for soooo long, but now it seems to have finally been realized and made into the fucking must-have collectible of the millenium.

Have you recently seen the website for this shit?

http://www.theghostfacedoll.com/

It’s nothing short of amazing and it’s downright flabbergasting.

I’m talking straight up mesmerizing.

I really have to tip my hat to the writer, he’s a heavy dude.

Anyway, back to the doll. Holy shit, I need this in my life SO BAD.

It comes with the fucking eagle bracelet!

And that isn’t even the best part.

The illest shit to me is that the doll speaks classic Ghost lines when prompted, in fact two of my all-time favorites are included: “Remember when I long dicked you, and broke your ovary?” and “Yo, bitch, I fucked your friend, yeah, you stank ho!”

Can someone get me this next month? My birthday is six days before Christmas, you can make it an X-mas collabo gift!

I swear to god, my life would be complete.

Yo, the doll even has it’s own blog!

http://blog.theghostfacedoll.com/

Just killing it.

Outside of Terry Kennedy’s shockingly ugly Ice Cream Ronald McDonald orthopedic clown shoe joints, these are quite possibly the worst looking shoes in the history of skateboarding that I have ever laid my eyes upon, yet people (retards, actually) are paying upwards of 3,000 dollars for them on eBay these days. I bet that if you buy these shoes you get a free bowl of soup. OH, but they look good on YOU. Do you have any idea how much stuff you can buy and how much fun you could have with three thousand dollars? Copping these and immediately locking them in a temperature controlled cave and never allowing to let the light of day dare to shine upon them doesn’t sound very fun at all. If I had a pair of these right now I would throw them on and walk from my apartment to 7-11 to get a Coke slurpee.

Those are really, really good and I enjoy one at least twice a week. But on the way there I would make sure I stepped in every muddy fucking puddle and also tromp through all of the deepest, wettest spots possible, which would be quite easy since it has been pouring rain non-stop all weekend. After I got home I would jump inside the whip and drive to the skatepark in Chinatown, which happens to be in the dirtiest, filthiest part of the city. Upon arrival I would step out of my car and walk a few laps around the perimeter of the skatepark, making sure to step through every piss pool and upon every diseased piece of filth and excrement that I could find before finally entering the hallowed shred arena. Upon laying my board to concrete, I would warm up first by doing about three hundred flatground kickflips in the dirtiest, trashiest corner of the park so that even when I bailed (which would probably be often) I would most assuredly be running out and stepping all over pho’ noodle containers, mounds of discarded blunt tobacco, puddles of spit, and rivers of spilled malt liquor. Then I would ollie over the bank to bank about five hundred times, making sure to alternate between regular, nollie and switch so that the rips and tears would be even on both shoes. I would repeat this entire process every day for a week, and then I would take pictures of my shoes and put them up on eBay, making sure to include photos of the box that the shoes came in (it’s gold with black lettering now, no more black with purple) and an index card with SKATE NAZI 143 printed on it so people would know that my shoe shit (literally) was genuine.