This photo comes to you courtesy of the Girl and Chocolate dudes over at crailtap.com

Whaaaaaaaaat?

2007 was pretty nice but 2008 is gonna be straight beef jerky time.

Peace and salami grease!

I got a new camera for Christmas. How convenient. I was thinking it was time to step my digi game up anyway, the camera I have used for the past six years is super outdated. It’s bulky. Look at this fucking thing:

Manny said it looks like a Klondike bar. It takes pictures at a whopping 2.1 megapixels, pretty much close to or even worse than cell phone camera quality these days. Shit, but when this thing came out in 2001, it was pretty fucking tight! People were like HOLY SHIT that is amazing, super sleek, beautiful, etc. etc. etc. and it definitely was. I took that thing everywhere and took photos of everything.

That camera went around the world. A bunch of times. It’s seen some wild shit, and this post is dedicated to my trusty Canon PowerShot S300 Digital Elph, now retired and being passed on free of charge to my dear friend Kenneth The Blaze Brimer. In rememberance of this incredible machine, I now share with you a random assortment of memories spawned from within its inner mechanism.

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to make a skateboarding video? Maybe you think it ain’t no thing, all you have to do is point a camera at some dudes doing all of the actual hard work, right? Wrong! There’s a plethora of shit that you have to put up with and a lot of obstacles to overcome to really make something worthwhile that won’t be looked at and perceived by skateboarders (and we are some fickle, picky, shit-talking hater assholes much of the time) as being stink dookie. Chad and the crew over at APB have been putting in work on this thing for almost five years and now the end result of all that strug is about to be unleashed on the general viewing public. Come down for the premiere and maybe try to bring your sister, or your girl and some of her friends, because sometimes these skateboard video premieres tend to be on the shall we say swordfight side of things and we wouldn’t want to overload on sausage for the holdiays if it was at all avoidable.

Stop me when I’m passing by!

Peep this photo I came across yesterday at Barnes and Noble of Diamond Dave, or as my man Rob would refer to him, David Lee Broth.

How’s the form on that hippy jump?

Fucking rock star shit, son.

That’s right, fuck-o’s! Never mind that bullshit about UH’s weak schedule. We know our boys haven’t exactly beaten the cream of the crop in college football, but nobody can deny the past 4 wins have been fucking impressive, and finishing the regular season 12-0 (that’s UNDEFEATED, in case you’re keeping score) is not easy, even if you have a couple of 1-AA cream puffs scattered in there amongst the Boise States and the Washingtons. Nobody thought that UH would run the table, even the “experts” thought they’d run into a buzzsaw when it came down to the meat of the schedule towards the end of the year. FUCK THAT SHIT! Guess what’s happening now, on New Year’s Day in New Orleans?

Yeah, son, that’s right! Sugar Bowl versus Georgia. What are the fucking haters gonna say about this one? Keep running ya mouths because the team has put the entire state on its back and its gonna be fucking ON January 1st when the Superdome gets taken over by hella mokes! Watch out for false cracks on Bourbon Street, bitches! Congratulations to the whole UH football squad for going undefeated and wrapping up a BCS bowl bid and thanks for taking the people of the state of Hawaii on a ride that none of us is likely to ever forget.

Pool skating is the illest. Period! Some can swing it, yet others cannot even begin to relate. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they get down in a pool. Anyway, there’s a party/art show thing happening next week in Chinatown. Let’s go bro down with some savages!

More outtakes from the Fully Flared premiere weekend escapade, whoopity fucking doo!

World record height on this bank to wallride after a sausage fest at Denny’s.

Some dude got up, froggy style.

My hotel pool had endless lines. I was kinda thinking figure eight carve grind the deep puddle to wheeler over the shallow steps to fakie flip noseblizzard through the deathbox.

Fucking Guitar Hero hogs, let a brother touch your controller. No homo! Psyche. No homo is the funniest phrase ever, fucking confused and closeted gayball rappers made it up. Dude, I don’t wanna sound like a queer or nothin’, but that new Dipshit joint is packing some serious fudge in your hairy asshole while rocking a fully beadazzled Liberace robe with a feather boa cherry on top. A small percentage of homo!

Rob and Manny were rubbing shoulders all night with some serious industry dudes. No bromo!

Big sweaty men with broad shoulders in tight little shiny silver pants patting each other on the booty? Sign me up, sugar! Not even the faintest, slightest recognizable trace of even a little homo.

Derone struck a super cute drunken pose at the late night taco spot. No maricon!

Chad was totally stoked to be feeling the long, hard steel of aloha print all up in his eye hole. No mahu!

This dude was rolling around Hollywood passing out flyers and his super fruity CD (no promo) near the In-N-Out. No homo, no homo, animal style. (In case you’re wondering, that was the all new and totally unprecedented Double-Double secret menu no homo I just threw out there.) Apparently, his name is Richard. I do believe the shortened version of Richard is DICK, not RIC, so why does his van say RIC-HARD.COM on the side instead of DICK-HARD.COM? Looks like yet another case of mistaken no homo identity crisis if you ask me. Come on, Richard, come clean, already…IN ANOTHER DUDE’S FACE! 4X4 homo, protein style, extra mustard with grilled onions, in your ass piece. BLAAAOOW!  

Went to Los Angeles last weekend with the bros Rob and Chad from APBizzles for this skateboarding movie premiere. Some shoe company made this video, Lakai or something? They have some real skate superstars on their team, better than Sheckler and Bam even, and I guess a lot of people were looking forward to the video for a long time. It’s called Fully Flared and Tickets were super impossible to get but we roll in a seperate universe than most, so I guess we were all up in there. We posse’d up with some more Hawaiians like the Frisco mob of Manny, Mannix, Jeff, the dude from HUF’s skate shop whose name I forgot, and also we met up with Anzai from S.D. and repping aloha in L.A. the bumbaclot Jordan who runs tings in the Girl warehouse plus the savage doctor Andy Henrie, fresh off of a 12 city Nike skate tour to decide whether he wanted to work for them or not. Anyway, the weekend was fucking diesel and never mind you if you’re one of those fools that hates on L.A.! I got much love for Los Angeles, always a blast and there’s In-N-Outs galore.

Fuck the rules!

Carlyon chilling in between brodeo flips.

Shit is diesel!

Artsy shit.

Andre Genovesi says “DON’T BE A PUSSY!” to himself in Portuguese before stunts like this switch flip.

Chad in between marathon runs.

Carlyon, tranny shark.

More shit later.

I said laytuh, man.

They’re everywhere right now. South swell, east swell, north swell, pretty much everywhere on Oahu has surf at the moment, I myself just returned from a nice 2 hour solo sesh at Sandy’s, where it was 2-4 feet (Hawaiian, not that radio shit they broadcast for tourists) and quite a bit on the burly side. It doesn’t get much better than taking off on some Middle Peak or Gas Chambers bombs and proceeding to pull into a nice roomy shack for a few seconds, although the experience can be enhanced quite a bit if you happen to eye-spy one of your homies speeding at you and the two of you have the chance to share a moment in the green conference room together. That right there is some good shit. Even gooder than that is this dude: the modern-day Jeff Spicoli, and the voice I hear every single time I’m about to get barreled. You may have seen this golden clip floating around the interwebs already, after all it has been being passed around for sometime now, and it doesn’t really have anything to do with Hawaii or bodysurfing, but that doesn’t make it any less epic and downright awe-inspiring. I mean, this guy is all about it, and by it I mean getting pitted. Sooooo pitted.