Did you see the fucking dunk contest this past weekend?

WHOA.

Dwight Howard is the fucking dude!

Are you serious? That shit wasn’t even close.

This kid is a fucking freak of nature, end of story.

OH, speaking of Magic, I’ve never went to the Magic show in Las Vegas, in fact I must be the only person left that lives in Hawaii that hasn’t been to Las Vegas. ANYWAY, I found this piece below about the Magic show on one of my recent favorite websites, Satchel Of Gravel, shit is fucking good!

 http://www.satchelofgravel.com/

To us, the best part of Magic (The real Gathering) are the conversations that people start based on what kicks you’re wearing.

Here are the five most frequent lines that Air Farce, Punch CP and myself encountered at the show, at the parties and while in line waiting for cabs. We’ve also taken the liberty to provide the translations of what these people really meant.

1 - “I’m just out here on my grind, you know? Just hustling.”

Translation: I’m looking for a job. Do you know of anyone hiring? I have no real discernible skills, with the exception of being good at both carrying and smoking weed.

2 - “My line is streetwear inspired, but for the mass market.”

Translation: I’m out here looking at what the popular streetwear lines are doing, then I am going back to my factories in Korea and create similar products to sell at price point retail. The irony is that my knock off will make 10x more then the original. So while we’re mixing Crown Royal and Coors Light to celebrate, you’ll be sitting on your LE skateboard trying to figure out how to pay your electricity bill.

3 - “What brand do you think has done it the best this season?”

Translation: It costs too much for Internet in my hotel room so I haven’t been able to log on to any cool guy sites to see who’s been getting the most e-props. Can you please give me some suggestions on who I should be dick-riding for?

4 - “I loved Don’t Believe the Hypebeast and I really love Satchel of Gravel.”

Translation: I hate Satchel of Gravel. You make fun of the culture that I’ve taken refuge in after my days as a candy raver. Please go away [again] so my brand can go back to profiting off of stolen graphics and re appropriated rap lyrics and not getting called out for it.

5 - “What are you guys getting into tonight?”

Translation: I have no friends and have not been invited to any parties. If at all possible, can I tag along with you guys? If not, it’s cool. I’ll just go find me a hooker at the Wynn bar.

Viva Magic.

I recently ended my membership at 24 Hr. Fitness. No more meatheads in the mirror or And1 mixtape rejects practicing 45 foot jumpers on that awesome mini basketball court that’s never quite crowded enough with douche bigalows of all shapes and sizes. Damn. Where am I going to watch people excercise their yappers on cell phones now?

Now this right here done made my day.

Runnin’ With The Devil on some ol’ a cappella shit!

How ill is this?

I wanna sync it up with some grimy Mobb Deep instrumental, see how it plays.

Speaking of Dave, I just wanna say right now that early Van Halen is the sheeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

How you gonna fuck with that?

You can’t.

The fucking Emmy’s are and always have been a load of bullshit. This shit right here is really real!

Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you the best overall television character in the year that was 2007, in a landslide, the one man quote machine that is Leon Black.

“Black man doin’ his muthafuckin’ thing in the world, baby, ya feel me?”

Yes, Leon. Unequivocally, undoubtedly, unquestionably, and most resoundingly, I do.

 I do feel you.

This photo comes to you courtesy of the Girl and Chocolate dudes over at crailtap.com

Whaaaaaaaaat?

2007 was pretty nice but 2008 is gonna be straight beef jerky time.

Peace and salami grease!

I got a new camera for Christmas. How convenient. I was thinking it was time to step my digi game up anyway, the camera I have used for the past six years is super outdated. It’s bulky. Look at this fucking thing:

Manny said it looks like a Klondike bar. It takes pictures at a whopping 2.1 megapixels, pretty much close to or even worse than cell phone camera quality these days. Shit, but when this thing came out in 2001, it was pretty fucking tight! People were like HOLY SHIT that is amazing, super sleek, beautiful, etc. etc. etc. and it definitely was. I took that thing everywhere and took photos of everything.

That camera went around the world. A bunch of times. It’s seen some wild shit, and this post is dedicated to my trusty Canon PowerShot S300 Digital Elph, now retired and being passed on free of charge to my dear friend Kenneth The Blaze Brimer. In rememberance of this incredible machine, I now share with you a random assortment of memories spawned from within its inner mechanism.

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to make a skateboarding video? Maybe you think it ain’t no thing, all you have to do is point a camera at some dudes doing all of the actual hard work, right? Wrong! There’s a plethora of shit that you have to put up with and a lot of obstacles to overcome to really make something worthwhile that won’t be looked at and perceived by skateboarders (and we are some fickle, picky, shit-talking hater assholes much of the time) as being stink dookie. Chad and the crew over at APB have been putting in work on this thing for almost five years and now the end result of all that strug is about to be unleashed on the general viewing public. Come down for the premiere and maybe try to bring your sister, or your girl and some of her friends, because sometimes these skateboard video premieres tend to be on the shall we say swordfight side of things and we wouldn’t want to overload on sausage for the holdiays if it was at all avoidable.

Stop me when I’m passing by!

Peep this photo I came across yesterday at Barnes and Noble of Diamond Dave, or as my man Rob would refer to him, David Lee Broth.

How’s the form on that hippy jump?

Fucking rock star shit, son.

That’s right, fuck-o’s! Never mind that bullshit about UH’s weak schedule. We know our boys haven’t exactly beaten the cream of the crop in college football, but nobody can deny the past 4 wins have been fucking impressive, and finishing the regular season 12-0 (that’s UNDEFEATED, in case you’re keeping score) is not easy, even if you have a couple of 1-AA cream puffs scattered in there amongst the Boise States and the Washingtons. Nobody thought that UH would run the table, even the “experts” thought they’d run into a buzzsaw when it came down to the meat of the schedule towards the end of the year. FUCK THAT SHIT! Guess what’s happening now, on New Year’s Day in New Orleans?

Yeah, son, that’s right! Sugar Bowl versus Georgia. What are the fucking haters gonna say about this one? Keep running ya mouths because the team has put the entire state on its back and its gonna be fucking ON January 1st when the Superdome gets taken over by hella mokes! Watch out for false cracks on Bourbon Street, bitches! Congratulations to the whole UH football squad for going undefeated and wrapping up a BCS bowl bid and thanks for taking the people of the state of Hawaii on a ride that none of us is likely to ever forget.